after thoughts

So, I was thinking about my post where I talk about infants and how I feel about them. Then I started to read some fun blogs of people I know (who are definitely on the attachment parenting end of things) and it made me think....I wonder if I just don't really like twin infants. :) I know right? It sounds weird but I do think my parenting style is a little more on the attachment side of things and when you have two infants to care for you don't usually get the luxury of choosing your parenting style. When there are two infants crying you have to pick which one to help first.

There were times I when I would be feeding one baby and the other baby would be crying because they were hungry and I would just cry with them while I feed their sibling. They were two little to prop bottles up and feeding them sometimes would take 30 minutes each.

There were sad times.

Forever?

Is my cute, nice, fun baby gone forever? Teething has taken her far far away from me.

far.

far.

far.

10 Teeth 30 To Go

Kate =2
Zack=8

I am convinced.
The devil doesn't come out at night.
He comes out when a tooth is erupting.

Inspired

I met the sweetest down syndrome baby named Max today at work. His mother came in to have her teeth cleaned and brought him in with her. He was attached to his oxygen tank and had the fattest cheeks. I have never met a down syndrome baby and I have to say I was immediately in love. really.

What amazes me the most is that this little boy was going to have open heart surgery in a couple of days and that his mom and dad choose to adopt him when he was 1 month old.

I think there are wonderful inspiring people out there in this world. This woman is at the top of my list.

If you have never met a down syndrome baby your life is not complete.

Confessions

Zack and Kate turn 1 here in a couple of weeks and I have had so many thoughts going through my head about this last year. Inparticular confessions of this first time mom. I think motherhood has to be one of the most unnatural things I have ever done. I guess I thought it would come so naturally and that my babies would just tell me how to mother them. This could not be farther from the truth. The first three months of there lives was so bad that I still feel sad when I look back, for them and for us. I had no clue what I was doing. I was TOO tired to do anything but what we were doing even though I knew it wasn't working.

I think I have a whole new appreciation for people who have systems in place that aren't working and they know it but they do it anyway. because. because it is something. anything.

Confession #1 I hate newborns. I didn't know that I did at the time but looking back. i do.

I feel both relieved and sad that I not only feel that way but that I have just admitted to it.

goodnight

Really Zack

This week Zack pooped during nap time, it leaked out of his diaper and then he played in it until it was time to get up. Honestly.

I have no more words.